Queen Murder

Whoever taught my kids the "We will rock you" chorus, I sending you the sternest 'I am NOT amused' face that I can do. This week the kids have been stomping and clapping away attempting to replicate the famous Queen song. 

At first, I thought it was cool when they were trying to do it right, but was unable to get the beat or the words in sync with their hands and feet. As the days progressed, they began to change the song. Every part of it was altered and each child had made their own version.

Usually I would condone taking something and making it your own, but these kids did not make improvements. Some would frantically stomp and clap as fast as possible yelling " ROCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!" while others would exchange the words for ones that were more insulting. 

Then you play all the different versions at max volume in an echoy bus.

Welcome to my world.

~ misfoijd

Hair Perspective

I've had long hair for a grand duration of my life. I can remember having my hair cut short three times. Twice were for having super knotted hair that couldn't be brushed out. Once was due to a high fever caused by a spider bite. The fever messed with my head and I started wanting things I never wanted i.e. tattoo, short hair, etc. Fortunately, I didn't get the tattoo.

A week ago today, I cut my hair. For the first time that I can remember, I got a short hair because I wanted it. My hair had been my security blanket my whole life. When I was bored, it was my toy. Braid, re-braid, pigtails, top knots, etc. When I was sad, I would use my hair to dry my tears. When I was scared or worried, I'd hide behind it as though it could protect me. Now I have no place to hide.

Long hair was one way I was holding myself back. It was comfortable and safe... just like my life. Having made such a change I've been motivated to start changing the rest of my life. I'm going to change my stars in some way. Hopefully, it includes a new career, but only time will tell.

~misfoijd

Story Time: Trailer Tousle

Summer of 2010, I had no set job. Being a school bus driver grants me this. During such times, I work odd jobs [usually for familial units]. This adventure began more unique than average. Normal days entail fixing doors, and –you know- smaller tasks. We were to be working on a block of a massive pulley used on oil fields to pull 4 miles of pipe out of the ground. In short, I was ecstatic. This pulley easily weighed over 3.5 tons and was bright yellow. It was truly epic. It was so huge that it had to be put together on the trailer it came on, pieced together meticulously by tractors and bulldozers.

After finishing the smaller tasks on Uncle Burt’s farm [fix a hydrant, chase ducks, etc], Burt, Karl [dad], and I decide to tackle the block. Assembly was already mostly done. It only needed the arms and one side. We got one arm on with little issue. When we were working on the other arm, Karl was prepping the tail end while I did the other. I heard a crunch followed by an Ack! I turn to see him halfway to the ground, arms flailing in circles, and his right leg stuck in the trailer. He yelled ‘catch me’ and I grabbed his arm and held him up until Burton ran around to catch his back. Felt like minutes when in actuality it took place in under 3 seconds. His ankle was swelling up again [it was still recovering from being broken weeks ago] and he had a scratch up his leg. He wound up having a sore knee, back, and ankle. 

What had happened was a rotten board collapsed under his weight. Leg went into hole. Butt went on trailer edge. Being thrown off guard caused him to slide off the side causing his leg to catch on support beam under the broken floor. Fortunately, nothing broke excluding the plank on the trailer.

We do some smaller tasks after that then go to lunch. Upon return, Karl and I paint while Burt makes some adjustments to the arm. We finagled the arm into position while being extra careful of the hole that nearly claimed Karl. Time passes, problems come and go. We approach the final finessing required to finish putting in the arm. I give the arm a solid kick and set my foot down. When I set down my foot, I didn’t realize that it landed on the other half of the rotten board that Karl fell through only a few hours ago. One second later, my right leg was through the board with ankle hooked on the same support beam. Unlike Karl, I didn't support myself midair until rescue arrived. I flopped over the side like a dead fish. One can only assume that during the process of falling, Karl was more concerned that he was falling while I was concerned in not smashing my head into the dirt that was approaching. 

Fortunately - since my goal was ‘protect the skull’ - I was able to get a hand down fast enough to prop me up until Burt got over to me. As soon as Burt grabbed me, I proceed to climb him like a monkey. By the time I reached his shoulders, he had me sitting on the trailer. They pulled my leg out. They thought it was broken. It makes sense from an outside perspective.  Gratefully, I could walk so no broken bones. Ankle, calf and butt all had knots on them. I could hobble. Burt brought his nurse of a wife to make sure I was whole. I was only sore and bruised.


And that's why trailers make me nervous....

~misfoijd

Basic Car 101 for Ladies [works for all genders really]

There's are several elderly people at my work place. One is a 88-year old man that moved here from a different country long before I was born. He (like the other elders) enjoys teasing me. However, he teases differently. He is confused as to why I am the way I am and uses light teasing to find answers. For instance, he doesn't understand why I fix my own car. Conversation went something like this:

(Note that his accent is fairly thick)

"Why u fix yo car? Don't chew have husband?"

'Yes. I'm married...'

"Why not get 'im to fix it?"

'Because I know how to fix the problem.'

"But why u fix car? Chew have husband!"

So I fix my truck. I guess that seems strange to the rest of the world. A female who is willing to fix her own car. One has to admit that we females try to portray ourselves as unwilling to get dirty especially around the opposite sex. We would rather someone else get dirty instead of us. 

Everyone should know basic maintenance for their vehicle. There are simple things everyone should learn about their vehicle:

+ For some, learn how to pop the hood - It's not hard. There's usually a switch on the inside near the driver's door.

+ Learn how to fill wiper fluid jug- it's usually under the hood, has a pop or twist cap, and filled easily. You can purchase wiper fluid fairly cheaply at auto parts stores, most gas stations, and some Walmarts.

+ Learn how to check tire pressure - Purchase a tire pressure gauge and keep it in the glove box or console until needed. Some auto part stores will show you how to use it is you ask nicely. Having the wrong amount of air in your tires can reduce your fuel efficiency and increase the chances of your tires failing. Note: Tires are NOT cheap.

+Learn how to check oil - Your engine needs it to work. No oil in the engine can cause massive amounts of damage. It's better to get your oil check than replace your engine

+ Learn how to check and fill engine coolant - If engine gets too hot or too cold, things will break. Again, consult your manual. Note: Never check coolant that's in the radiator when the engine is hot. You can get hurt. Wait til it cools.

+ Learn how to PROPERLY check your transmission fluid - Every car is different. Look in your owners manual for the suggested method. By checking the transmission fluid at least once a month, you may be able to catch and prevent expensive transmission problems from arising. Note: Many oil change shops will NOT check the transmission fluid.

**GOOD TO KNOW**

+ Replacing fan/drive/accessory belt - Most vehicles can not run without it. While engine is off, find where it is. Find out if there's a picture near the hood latch that shows the belt is suppose to go. If not, try and get a copy to keep in the glove box. Also buy a pack of panty hose to keep in the glove compartment. This will come in handy if the belt breaks while your driving. Panty hose can be used as a TEMPORARY belt so you can slowly drive your car out of harms way.

~ misfoijd

P.S. I am not a mechanic. Just raised by one.

Well, here I am.

After weeks of feeble excuses, here's a post. Now for my excuses.... I've been wanting to scan in doodles, but that'll have to wait until the scanner gets done rebelling [or purchase a replacement]. Then my computer got a virus, so I had to get someone to fix it. Fortunately, my computer guy takes brownies as currency [thanks Karl]. And yes, I could have used my phone to post.
And yes, I could have used my laptop [even though it's slow].
And yes, we all wish brownies counted for currency with more people.

With the excuses out of the way, I'm hoping to go back to at least a weekly post.

~misfoijd

P.S. The title is from one of my favorite cancelled shows. Can you guess the series?

Hooped Hoochies?

There are things that one can't help but observe. Through my college years and my current tour as a bus driver, I could not help but notice some trends amoungst us females. There are 2 that are particularly concerning: perfume baths and hooped earrings.

Somehow, I think these girls don't understand what they are projecting themselves as.

To quote a coworker, "Why do these kids try to smell like French whores?!" Because they don't know how to bathe. They didn't shower  because they're lazy, but don't want to smell bad for the dude they're flirting with. It's even grosser if they don't  even try to dress up. Sorry, but no matter how much you spray, sweatpants and a greasy hair are not attractive... unless you're pursuing prostitution as a career option.

Nothing quite pulls the 'look' together like HUGE hoop earrings. I personally do not understand their appeal, but almost every hoochie I have known or met wears the largest hoops they can find. The closer the hoops are to their shoulders, the more their probable hoochiness increases.

Sad note: Most of the pregnant girls at the school still dress this way.

~ misfoijd

Snow Spasm

This week, I sprung from bed expecting the weatherman to be right. Forecast: SNOW! As far as I care, it can be cold all it wants as long as there's snow. Sadly, I woke to a dampened world of unsnowed cold. I had been hoping thoroughly for snow, but was only met with increased disappointment with the local weather people. THEY said snow; therefore, I expected snow. The weather had merely iced my vehicle forcing me to work before working.

I moped through my morning route sparing the occasional smiley facade to the boarding children. Fortunately, they shuffled by quickly.They were mostly concerned with getting to their seats where they could siphon warmth from the heaters.

After my route, I headed home to refill on warmth. The cold had nearly taken it all since I lacked cheer to warm me. Once home, I was berated by our 2 dogs for not being around to love them. I attempted to get some chores done, but was frequently interrupted by cold noses. So I let them outside to chill. Twenty minutes free of scolding and drool later, I open the back door.

SNOW!! The dogs skittered past me seeking heat as I gawked at the large flakes of snow.

There's something about big fluffy flakes of frozen water that brings out the jolly in me. All I needed was a cupcake to have the best full-on toddler glee spasm ever! You know the flailing, jumping, screaming fit of pure excitement and joy a 5-year-old has over just about anything i.e. "I just got a puppy!*flail*" or " I'm wearing my favorite color ever! *flail*"

I hopped up and down, chirping "Snow!" at the top of my lungs. I turn to tell my dogs this, but they were covered in snow so I'm sure they knew.

After being toweled off, the dogs hid in the back room while I continued to dance about the house singing songs from White Christmas (although by then Christmas was long gone). I opened the front door so I could bask in snowy glory.

It had stopped. I think the dogs did it.

~misfoijd

P.S. I had doodles, but my scanner has decided to rebel against the machine.
UPDATE: Scanner still hateful, but I was able to take a picture of one of the doodles. Enjoy!