Clown Cake

I'm a freaking chicken when it comes to haunted anything.

Never understood why people would ever pay or willingly attend an event knowing that there's someone in the shrubbery trying to scare you.

Yet, as a kid, I was to attend one yearly.... mostly because my dad was helping.

When I was a little, my 2nd cousins would host a Halloween party out of their garage. They use to hold it every year. The biggest attraction was the Haunted Forest.

They had a small section of wooded area with full grown trees well over 3 stories tall which apparently begged to become a ghouls' paradise.

One year stands out more than the others. I was dressed as a clown. Bright yellow & Purple  onesy with sporadic multi-color polka dots. I love bright colors & I wanted color.

Can't even contain the wild of my hair in a clown wig

The party progresses. Games played. Pinatas bludgeoned. Then dark came & the trips through the haunted forest began. I did what I could to avoid being corralled in a group. 

I had candy. Murdered a pinata. My glee was achieved. I had all I desired.

Then someone put me in a group under the guise that it wasn't that scary; that they'd be with me. As a typical kid, I went along. Maybe I was worrying over nothing....

My group went into the forest. 

I don't remember any part of the actual "haunted" forest. I remember entering & closing my eyes because I was scared. I had a grip of someone's clothes.

Then I didn't.

When I opened my eyes, I was alone. IN THE FOREST.

It's pitch. I can't see. But I know they can see me. I'M IN A NEON CLOWN COSTUME.

You know who hates clowns? Everyone.

You know who hates clowns more? MONSTERS.

Terror sets in.

Clowns are like the black sheep of the monster family. Some clowns join them (watch IT if you don't believe me) but normal clowns are treated like delicious cake: sliced up & devoured quickly.

I was going to be consumed violently all because of 

COSTUME PROFILING.

This is where I start bawling.

At least in the face of, at the time, the MOST TERRIFYING THING EVER - I understood to keep moving; get out of the forest.

For if there's anything I've learned from the movies, monsters don't like fast food.

I doubt I achieved what one would define as "running", because I was a squishy kid. But sure as sugar, I jelly-rolled my bawling butt out of the trees. Headed for the first light I saw: the party lights.

Needless to say I was not happy.

Needless to say, my family couldn't understand why I was so scared. Something about being alone & clowns....

~misfoijd