Clown Cake

I'm a freaking chicken when it comes to haunted anything.

Never understood why people would ever pay or willingly attend an event knowing that there's someone in the shrubbery trying to scare you.

Yet, as a kid, I was to attend one yearly.... mostly because my dad was helping.

When I was a little, my 2nd cousins would host a Halloween party out of their garage. They use to hold it every year. The biggest attraction was the Haunted Forest.

They had a small section of wooded area with full grown trees well over 3 stories tall which apparently begged to become a ghouls' paradise.

One year stands out more than the others. I was dressed as a clown. Bright yellow & Purple  onesy with sporadic multi-color polka dots. I love bright colors & I wanted color.

Can't even contain the wild of my hair in a clown wig

The party progresses. Games played. Pinatas bludgeoned. Then dark came & the trips through the haunted forest began. I did what I could to avoid being corralled in a group. 

I had candy. Murdered a pinata. My glee was achieved. I had all I desired.

Then someone put me in a group under the guise that it wasn't that scary; that they'd be with me. As a typical kid, I went along. Maybe I was worrying over nothing....

My group went into the forest. 

I don't remember any part of the actual "haunted" forest. I remember entering & closing my eyes because I was scared. I had a grip of someone's clothes.

Then I didn't.

When I opened my eyes, I was alone. IN THE FOREST.

It's pitch. I can't see. But I know they can see me. I'M IN A NEON CLOWN COSTUME.

You know who hates clowns? Everyone.

You know who hates clowns more? MONSTERS.

Terror sets in.

Clowns are like the black sheep of the monster family. Some clowns join them (watch IT if you don't believe me) but normal clowns are treated like delicious cake: sliced up & devoured quickly.

I was going to be consumed violently all because of 

COSTUME PROFILING.

This is where I start bawling.

At least in the face of, at the time, the MOST TERRIFYING THING EVER - I understood to keep moving; get out of the forest.

For if there's anything I've learned from the movies, monsters don't like fast food.

I doubt I achieved what one would define as "running", because I was a squishy kid. But sure as sugar, I jelly-rolled my bawling butt out of the trees. Headed for the first light I saw: the party lights.

Needless to say I was not happy.

Needless to say, my family couldn't understand why I was so scared. Something about being alone & clowns....

~misfoijd

If Excuses were Candy, I'd have Diabetes.

Hello World,

Update:

• Finished the Remodel
• Rearrange it every weekend
• Still have a room that has mounds of boxes & little walking room
• Boss went beyond starting his own brokerage. He started his own real estate company

Excuses:

• Still haven't past the Final Pre-Final Real Estate Test 
• (200 questions in 3hrs is kicking my can)
• Been rearranging my house so I could FINALLY get my Computer away from the telly
• It's hard for me to focus when S.U. is watching something & wants me to watch it with him (Curse my weakness for S.U.'s sad face).
• Computer is now in a room with no internet connection which poses an issue. 
• When Boss began his own company, Boss's & my workloads gave birth to quadruplets, but it's like Chris Rock says in the movie What to Expect When Your Expecting. "Before...I thought I was happy. Now, I know I'm happy. Exhausted, but happy."

I'm hoping to be in a better place in October...

...which is approaching quickly....

~misfoijd

Busy, Busy, Dreadfully Busy....

Sorry for the lack of posting. S.U. & I have been busy as the dickens. Here's a brief overview of what has & is on the sizzling hot plate.

• Boss started a brokerage & adds a bit more to my work load currently.
• S.U. has been pulling 12 hr work days covering various shifts.
• Been studying for my Realtor's license
• We are 2 months in on a 1 month house remodel on our next home.

That last one has been the big time consumer. When you spend every weekend & weeknight working, it's hard to shoe horn in studying ... let alone blogging.

Once things mellow like yellow Jello, I'll be back.

~ misfoijd

The Feared Koalapath

I was chatting with L-Friend on Facebook. She's my best friend and the only person (other than Spousal Unit) that I am permitted to complain to.  L-Friend was letting me vent when she typed:

L-Friend - I would tell you to punch people who annoy you in the throat, but . . . I'm concerned you might actually do it. >_>

Me - lol : P. . .  at least you are aware of my dark vein. So many just don't realize it's so . . .  I want to say prominent.

L- But you're still lovable. Terrifying, but lovable. Like a koala.

Cuddly killer?

M- LOL. I swear I don't mean to be so terrifying (especially to my friends), but the koala thing was hilarious.

L- Have you never seen a koala mad?

M- Nope.

L- Their cute little feet have, like, raptor claws.

• 
  The video L-Friend sent me.
• 
  

  M- They must be psychopaths for them to be so mellow when attacking people.
  
  L- . . . I rest my case.
  
  M- I'm a cuddly fuzzy koalapath.
  
  L- Yes. The feared koalapath.
  
  
  

  

  I touched your heart. Now I have it.

  
  
  ~ misfoijd

• 
  

Gobbling Up Trouble

Every so often, Spousal Unit & I go camping with his dad & his dad's best friend, G. G has his own time frame to go anywhere. What should have been a 5 hour car ride becomes 8. Not due to his driving. (His lead foot makes mine feel like feathers). It's due to him visiting many of his chums along the way. 

One camping trip, we were diverted, once again, to visit one of G's friends. G's friend had a small farm in a wooded area. As with most farms, there are traces of years past still laying about. Rusting old trucks, random fence posts, a swing set, etc. While the rest of the guys went in to talk, I chose to stay outside. Mostly cause I'm a glorified 10 yr old & I wanted to swing on the swing set. 

As I'm swinging, a pair of large fluffy white turkeys come around the house.

Just like this one but x 2.

They were just gobbling away like women talking shoes. As I'm listening to them, I can't help but wonder if I could gobble too. I start trying to break down the art of gobbling: the pitch, the warble, length of the gobble. Before long, I got lost in thought trying to match the sound I was making to the sound I was hearing. It felt like science to me, but I probably just looked funny gobbling all by myself. All this while swinging away.

"The gobble starts at a higher pitch, then alternates down the scale
while never topping the initial high note......."

 The trouble with being in deep thought is you don't notice certain things as well as you should. Otherwise, I probably would have noticed the gobbling getting louder ... and closer. 

Do you know gobbling is partially used for claiming territory and isn't taken too kindly? Apparently, I was doing a decent job at gobbling.

I popped out of my haze in time to see this:

Only larger, fluffier, and exuding the "I'll cut you, B!$@#!" vibe.

I pissed off a pair of poultry who decided pursuit was necessary. It kind of went like this:



One comedic chase scene later, I'm perched on the hood of one of the rusted trucks. Fortunately, they got bored with me quickly and moved on to attacking the sliding glass doors on the house across the yard.

~misfoijd


PS - If you want a good laugh, search youtube for turkey attacks. The one with the cops is hilarious.

Thanksgiving

When I was a kid, I looked forward to Thanksgiving almost as much as Christmas. My entire family would gather under 1 roof and wait in line. All of my aunts, uncles, and cousins would be there. Generally with a casserole or 2. And there was ALWAYS more dessert than food.

Now that I'm older, I think I liked Thanksgiving a bit more. It was one of the few times a year we got everyone together. It wasn't a holiday about getting presents. I feel Christmas has become a bit of a selfish holiday. Not like Thanksgiving. If you bail out on the Christmas party, you didn't get presents. So no one misses a Christmas party if they can help it.

With Thanksgiving, you show up either because you love your family or you want to be well fed. In my book, making sure everyone is well fed is how you show you love them. So hopefully they feel so loved that next year, they come back for the love along with the food. 

Over the years, our family has drifted as the kids started having their own kids. Maybe one day, we'll bring it back together. Although our numbers have dwindled, I'm still as excited about this Thanksgiving as the last.

Kind of feel like the guy in the picture. 

Give me the basics and I'm a happy person. That & some turkey.

~misfoijd

Cuddly Eddie

On August 17, 2012, I became an Iron Maiden fan. I went to one of their concerts that day. Spousal Unit & his friends had been planning this trip since April. They wanted their other halves to like Iron Maiden too, so I was going whether I wanted to or not. Glad I did for I had a wonderful time.

Prior to that day, I had a dislike of the bands mascot Eddie.

General overview of the Eddie over the years.

I just remember when I married Spousal Unit. He put his Eddie doll on the shelf by our bed. Eddie was positioned to where he looked like he was watching us with fascination.

Please don't eat my soul, Eddie! O_O

It doesn't seem like fascination when you wake up and his soulless eyes are staring at you. Looked more like blood lust depending on how dark it was.

This brings me to the concert. As we were all basking in the awesomeness, various versions of Eddie would come and go from the stage. The one that cause my eye the most was, what I call, inflatable Eddie alpha. 

This is how he looked on stage.

After years of awkward discomfort, seeing Eddie in his most cuddly state washed away the nerves. All I could think is "Awe! How so cute!" Sorry, Eddie. I'm female and this is the cutest I've ever seen you.

Having seen Eddie in all his not-scariness, he has lost his menace to me. And to make sure he stays there, I present to you in all his cuddly inflatable cuteness . . . 

EASTER EDDIE!!

No offense to Eddie or Iron Maiden, but it's this or I have nightmares. 

~misfoijd